Welcome Marie, another fellow blogger friend, as she does some guest posting on Motherhood Support! She is witty and hilarious! You will love her!
I made one resolution for 2014: to get a handle on my family’s finances. Compared to my typical vows to lose weight and hit the gym more, I thought this would be a little easier because I didn’t have to worry about diet or exercise. Man, was I wrong! I don’t know what I was thinking because I am busting my butt just to keep up!
I have always been the one in the family to manage our money and for years I assumed we were doing fine because we pay our bills, don’t receive those dreaded collections calls (which wasn’t always the case as we started our family more than 15 years ago) and live a comfortable, but not extravagant lifestyle. My husband works for a great company that pays him decently and provides our family with good health insurance.
Yet, somehow each month we hardly had anything left for savings or a rainy day fund. Often, I’d find myself virtually pulling my hair out and literally crying wondering what I’ve been doing wrong. My family should not be living paycheck to paycheck. When we would get a little ahead, some big emergency would always come up (car needs fixing, hot water heater needs replacing, the blu max line rupturing, etc.) and we’d dip into our savings or use our credit cards to pay for it. We’d be back at square one.
It’s a roller coaster ride all families experience on a daily basis. The stress and worry started affecting my life: my mood, my sleeping habits, my self-worth. I knew we needed to do better, not only to improve my health, but also to better prepare our family for those speed bumps along the way and to set a good example for my girls. So, at the end of 2013, I vowed I would get to the bottom of our “missing money” mystery and start building our savings.
My husband, Jon, and I tried before to stick to a budget, but, somehow, we’d always get off track and wonder what the heck was going on. This time, I had to dig below the surface to get to the bottom of our struggles–and I decided to start with truly knowing where our money went each month.
You know when your kids flip over a rock and all those creepy-crawlies crawl or slither out? You know they live under the rock, but they are out of sight and don’t bother anyone. Once they see the light of day, well, it’s not pretty. Digging into your family’s spending habits can feel the same way. It’s dirty; it’s ugly. But, no matter how much you’d like to bury those bad habits under a rock, they still live there and will grow if you don’t face it.
I knew if I didn’t take a close look at what we were doing with our money, nothing would change. I understood it wouldn’t be pleasant, but prayed the results would be worth it in the end. I pulled out three months worth of bank statements and went through line by line to see how we spent our money. I found a few positives along the way: all of our necessary bills (mortgage, insurance, utilities, car payment, etc) are all on auto-pay so those go out each month without fail. Even when our credit card bills went out–which we pay more than the minimum payment–we had a surplus at the end of the month. Awesome, right?
However, I quickly discovered while we had been doing a good job making sure our bills were paid, we didn’t manage the rest of the money left each month. This means being ACTIVE in keeping track of where the money went. Months before, I created a grocery and gas budget, but we didn’t always stick to it. Still, that wasn’t our main source of leaky funds.
Our real issue was “entertainment” costs. We didn’t go out to movies or do a lot of shopping, so what was the deal? In our case, it was eating out. We do it a lot. Our schedules are crazy with our girls and many times we found it easier just to grab something before or after lessons. It doesn’t seem like much at the time, but it adds up! In one month, we spent nearly $1,000! What?? How is that even possible? I’m embarrassed to admit I had no idea it was that bad. I got angry at myself and felt totally humiliated at my lack of awareness and carelessness
After I pouted and stewed for a few days about this revelation, I got over the anger and humiliation and decided to make a few, small changes to start the new year. When it comes to these things, I tend to jump right in over my head, but I knew making big promises like setting a specific, inflexible amount to spend or never eating out again wouldn’t work. Instead, Jon and I decided to take a little time each weekend to review our spending for the week, double-check it with our bank online and make adjustments for the following week. Yes, it’s common sense and I’m sure many people do this. But, I’m sure we’re not the only family that has been a bit “loosey goosey” with their dollars. Common sense isn’t always as easy at it appears.
I have also done more meal planning at home. Yes, it takes more time, but I’ve set a specific dinner time and whoever is home eats together at the dinner table. That has helped keep our schedule manageable. My grocery budget is a little higher than I originally wrote down way back when, but we’ve cut our eating out spending more than 50 percent in January. Plus, the budget amount is more realistic anyway since we weren’t as careful as we should be with the food budget.
This is the first small step in what I know will be a long and difficult process. We’ll be focusing on re-allocating money from one bill to another to help pay down our credit card debt in the next few months. I’ll have to let you know how it’s going as we go along!If you’re struggling to save, take a little time to see where your money is really going each month. I guarantee you’ll be surprised by what you find!
Marie Rossiter is a freelance writer and blogger who believes everyone has a story. Her passion is to find the perfect words to tell them. She is a mom of two girls (a teen and a tween–yikes!) and truly married her best friend. To connect with Marie, visit her at MarieRossiter or her personal blog “Mom Gets Real”. She is also a self-proclaimed tech-geek and Disney addict who is looking forward to launching her travel blog: MagicalMouseGuide.com soon!
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