I am always writing about how we need to take care of ourselves, as moms and just as women in general. We are always wanting to take care of everyone else and it is easy to get sucked into the cycle of forgetting about yourself.
Unfortunately, I have not been practicing what I preach lately. I do feel like I am usually pretty positive and happy most of the time and I really don’t like to complain because my mom instilled in me that someone always has it worse than you so look on the bright side….but I have to say things have been weighing heavy on my mind and it is taking its toll on me. I have been helping my grandparents the last 6 weeks or so which is a post in itself (which I will share another time) and since then, my head has kind of become my worst enemy. I did struggle with anxiety when I was younger (in high school), but really haven’t had any issues since then. I must say, it has tried rearing it’s ugly head lately. Thankfully, it hasn’t been too bad, but I can tell that I have not been myself lately. I have been so consumed with the things I have been doing for my grandparents that all my other daily tasks and my life have fallen to the way side. It has turned into a vicious cycle because I have been spending a lot of time on their stuff so my house, groceries, dinner, the kids, the hubs, my friends and myself have not gotten my proper attention. Steve has been cooking dinner every night, I have drug my kids to my grandparents house for all day trips and my daily chores have accumulated and started piling up.
This weekend I had some time to slow down and clear my head. We have a place in Cumberland and this is my solace. I am a city girl through and through and have been a social butterfly since birth. I love people and I love the hustle and bustle of daily life, BUT, Cumberland gives me the opportunity to sit back, take a minute and breath. I always feel like I can regroup there and if the kids cooperate, which does happen sometimes :), I have time to think on the car ride too. I realized that although I had to put a lot of time into helping my grandparents, I was really lacking that balance that I try and give to myself and I wasn’t taking care of me at all. Even after just 6 weeks, this lack of giving to myself has really had an impact. I have been super moody and on edge. I have been trying to keep going at my same crazy busy pace and by 11:00 at night I am spent. What I realized this weekend is that when things start to spiral you have to pull the reigns in and create boundaries for yourself. Life just keeps getting busier and busier for us for one reason or another and we can get swept up in it. We have got to be able to say no to things and if we can’t we have to create a boundary so that our commitments don’t consume us. Once again, it boils down to finding that balance!
So sorry to the hubs, the kiddos, my friends/ family and sorry to myself. My goal is to start getting that balance back and making sure that I am o.k. too :) It is funny because before all this happened, I was patting myself on the back because I felt soooo balanced and content with everything. Just goes to show how quickly you can turn that attention away from yourself and not even realize it!
How do you cope with the craziness of life? Are you just trying to keep your head above water or do you have strategies on how you find and maintain balance?
This was 7 months ago! How quickly time flies by….enjoy each moment because soon enough we will look back and wish our kids were at home driving us crazy and that life was taking us by surprise at every turn!
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OH Jen… I could say so many sarcastic things about you and your head! :) They say you can only have 5 roles in life and do them well… so when you added your Grandparents that through you on tilt… you are going to have to give something up… hope it's not me! :)