O.k. so I was ready to kill the hubs when I am giving Cody a bath and he points to his chest and says,
“Mommy, these are my boobies”!
I was completely thrown! WHAT?!
Cody was actually pointing to his nipples so I said “No honey, those are your nipples”.
That was that.
When the hubs came home we started to have the talk…. we need to decide how we will talk to him about his body parts and what we feel comfortable with as the appropriate names. Cody is a VERY observant kid. He is SO not like me… I jump into everything feet first, not thinking about anything before I do it. Cody, on the other hand, notices everything and is inquisitive about anything and everything he comes into contact with. He really thinks about things before he does anything. Oh lord.. I think I am going to be in trouble :) He had already been asking about other body parts that we called “private parts”.
I asked your advice on facebook about the whole body parts controversy because I was really torn at first. Thanks for the input btw! With all the research I have done we have come to a conclusion on how we are going to handle this in our family and what we are most comfortable with.
Here are a few facts I read over and over again during my research:
- You should teach your kids the actual body part names of all “private parts” just like you would teach them the name of their ears, nose, mouth etc.
- Teaching them the appropriate names can help when they go to sitters/ family etc. because they can communicate if they are having issues (pain etc.) with their “private part” and the person watching them will know exactly what they are talking about.
- If your kids are asking about their “private parts” they are ready to know the correct names. If you “lie” to them about the names it can cause distrust in your kids towards you and it may cause them to not want to ask or talk to you about sex in the future (I thought this was interesting).
- There was a case where a child was molested and was only able to put away the predator because they knew the appropriate names of the body parts that were involved
- Not talking about their “private part names” and your reaction when they are asking you can create shame in their minds about sex and their body
For those of you who have already been there done this I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and how you dealt with the body parts debate. For those of you who haven’t gone there yet, I hope this at least makes you think ahead of how you will want to handle this when it comes up :)
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Good post Jennie! We definitely started using the correct names for body parts with Lia. I never saw your post on FB about this. It's a good topic. BTW what is a 9 month pregnant woman doing giving a bath to Cody? ;) Looking forward to meeting the new little man in the fam. ♥ J
Love this post Jen! I do wonder why sometimes it feels so awkward but honestly – I think it's because boys are SO different from us girls and no parents wants to traumatize their kids! I think it would be no big deal with a girl, simply because I can relate you know?
I remember Julian being so nervous about having a girl and being worried about changing her diaper which makes sense – it's all about what you know! It's the same with us for boys at times, isn't it?!
Great topic! Will def have to check out that book – as you know we've called everything "private parts" until recently when he started taking more notice of his body parts and asking questions and we were more "anatomically correct" because I do feel like it's important to be honest with kids.
-Kim
Thanks ladies! It is a great topic, one of which I know all families are going to handle in different ways. I am happy that we have finally decided what was most comfortable for us and it works so one less thing I have to worry about!
J- I was laughing when I read that about giving him a bath! This was like two months ago and I have been waiting to talk about it on the blog once we knew where we wanted to go with it. Let me tell you- there is literally no way I could give him a bath right now. I am HUGE and can hardly bend over! Thank goodness for flip flops :) so I can at least put my own shoes on, although we have been staying in the AC!!
-Jen
kayla is 3 and at 2yrs old, she started asking about her body so i told her. i even told her about a tampon and what it was when she opened my cupboard asked me what it was and what it's for. i was going to say something different but decided to be honest and just say it. she said "ok" and left it (probably because she didn't understand what i meant!).
People were shocked when they found out i told my child about tampons and used the word "vagina". i don't see it as a big deal; it's the correct anatomical names for body parts!
It is funny because before I started really thinking about it and researching it, I would have been the one to say… "you told your two year old she had a vagina?!" BUT by the time I went through all I had read and really put thought into it all seems to make perfect sense to me now… although it can be uncomfortable to say, I think if we aren't telling our kids the proper names we need to make sure that it is because that is our choice vs. us just being uncomfortable saying it :) Thanks for the comment! Love it!!