Can Kids Really Be Taught Patience?

We first asked this question on our Facebook Fan Page and we got a lot of laughs! The reason I first asked this question is because Cody has a hard time playing on his own. If the phone rings, or I am in the kitchen cooking, or on the computer, he cries for me to play or pick him up. I needed to find a way to try and teach him some patience. We had a few moms give some advice on our facebook page. I have been reading off & on The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old. I do love the second half of this book, and I highly recommend it because of the great ideas he has in it for helping you live life with a toddler! There was a section in the book that talked about teaching patience and I thought I would share:

“Patience is like a muscle-it gets stronger with exercise. There are many ways to build up the power of your toddler’s patience muscle. Here is one approach:

When our one-year- old whines for your attention, look at her, clap your hands three times to get her attention, and then say, “Wait!!” Then briefly look away, as though you’re ignoring her. While looking away, hold up one hand and indicate with your fingers as you count out loud: “One, Two, Three” Then immediately look back and pay attention to her for a minute. When you promptly reward her with attention for her patience, she’ll grow up knowing, “My mommy always keeps her word!”

With children over age two, you can use a timer instead of counting. First explain what you’re doing: “When Mommy says, “Wait!” I want you to wait until Mr. Dinger (show her the timer) says “DING!” Let her hear what the timer sounds like. “Then we can play! Okay?”

Initially, just set the timer for ten seconds. When it rings, go to her and play for a few minutes. Later that day do the exercise again, but this time set it for thirty seconds. Suggest that your child play with a toy or look at a book. Ignore her even if she tries to interrupt you before the dinger sounds. Then immediately reward her with some play time to show her you appreciate her efforts.

Over the next few weeks practice this every day. (Sometimes surprise her by giving the reward even before the dinger goes off.) Your toddler will learn, “Wow, that minute goes by pretty fast. It’s not so hard to wait.” Within a month or two a toddler will learn to quietly entertain herself for three to five minutes. At bedtime, remind her of what a good job she did waiting for that day.

If your child has trouble waiting, talk to her about how hard waiting is…. Suggest some things for her to do while she waits: play with toys, draw a picture, give her dolls a pretend meal or bath, and so on. “

I am going to try this with Cody and I will update you on how it is going. I would love to hear any other suggestions! It is hard to have patience as an adult, but I really want to teach him that there are times that mommy just can’t play with you… is this an impossible venture???!!!!