We tried so hard for Cody and once he was finally here, all we could imagine was holding our little precious bundle in our arms. Well, it didn’t go exactly as we had envisioned! You couldn’t just hold Cody in the beginning. You had to bounce him and bounce him and bounce him some more. If you weren’t bouncing him, he was in the swing and he had to have a paci in at the same time or he would just cry. I remember sitting next to his swing, completely exhausted, and just kept putting his paci back in every time it fell out, just waiting for daddy to come home for some relief. He cried every time we got in the car and didn’t stop until we got to our destination. That’s right, he wasn’t like the 99% of kids who love the car, sleep in the car, and are their happiest in the car! So yes, those first few months of having a newborn wasn’t exactly what we thought it was going to be!
Cody before he turned one! He is so little!!
As he grew out of that crying newborn phase, Cody grew into a very shy little guy. He was very cautious and hid behind my leg any time we were out. All the other kids would be playing and there would be Cody, hanging on mama’s hip (and yes, sometimes crying)! I exposed him to tons of places, people, kids and experiences, but he was just not comfortable being away from me! At home, he would cry if I walked out of the room and didn’t see me in sight. I really never had a free second unless daddy was home.
This was our life for some time. There seemed to be lots and lots of crying. Now however, I look back and remember a lot more fun times than I remembered in the moment. I think as a new parent, you have no idea what you are doing. Every little thing is trying and you agonize over every choice you make because who wants to mess up their kid right?! As a new parent, you are sleep deprived, scared, and trying to do the right thing, all while trying to hold onto the life you had pre-baby. When you are in the thick of it, it is hard to see how great it really is (at least when you have a “colicky” baby). As you look back though, you realize that all those things you were SO worried about and how embarrassed you would get when your baby would cry in public was really not that bad at all. It lasts for such a short time in the whole scheme of life and after just a short time you become a confident and very capable parent. You don’t worry as much about the little things and try to enjoy the moment (no matter how scary, embarrassing or exhausting it may be)! If you are a new parent, know that it will get better and we have all been in your shoes. If you are an old pro, don’t you agree that it wasn’t as bad as we thought it was in the beginning?? OR do you think that it has been 3 years for me and I just can’t remember how hard it really was lol!?
I love you my dear sweet Cody. You were an adorable baby and even though every moment wasn’t perfect, we had an absolute blast with you as a newborn and that first year really taught me a lot about myself and you have only made me a better person!
How was your first baby/parenting experience? I would love to hear your tips and tricks on surviving and if your views on the beginning have now changed when you look back on them!!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I'm so glad I stumbled across this post. My son just turned one and for the first time in almost 13 months I feel like I can enjoy my time with him. While he slept more than most babies in the beginning, when he was awake all he did was screeeeeaaaaaam. I too bounced, patted, shushed, rocked, hummed and every other trick in the book for the first months; usually to no avail as the crying still managed to reach a fever pitch.
My husband and I would take shifts trying to get my son to sleep during the witching hour (why the witching hour? My sons always lasted 3-4 hours!!!) eventually my husband would lose steam and pass him over to me and tell me he just couldn't anymore. For the first four months, he would only sleep in my arms. I was massively sleep deprived, struggling with nursing, and hardly functioning. Life was excruciating.
When he outgrew this phase, my son mmediately jumped into the whiny phase. He had to be held just so, positioned just so, have the exact toy he wanted, etc. And whine to full blown meltdown cry was instantaneous and often unexpected. The worst part was that my son didn't like to be held. He would push against us as hard as he could to get down and then blow a gasket once we did. It was a complete lose lose and we often didn't know what to do.
Finally, a week or two before his first birthday, it was like a light bulb switched on. He became this happy, energetic, independent little man. He was social. He was interactive and funny. I felt the stress of 12 months of hell slowly disintegrating.
As I look back, I can now remember a lot of great and funny times. I see pictures from the early days and I look proud, radiant and happy. I think of the snuggles with nostalgia. Good memories are surfacing. Thanks for sharing your story, it allowed me to look at mine with new eyes.
I am so happy to hear this! I love when we can share our "war stories" with one another so we know we aren't in our parenting journey alone! I am so happy to hear your son has turned a corner and that we can both look back on those times with smiles!! :)